The Maker and Dreamgirl (thanks for the title Dave)

Oh, baby, I have so much to say. This time of the season has been incredible. An' another thing, the space between posts can be explained by all this rhyme and reason. (that's for you gareth)

For the past four years, roughly, I have struggled with what I thought about God, the world, and everything in it. I selfishly decided at one point that I was not going to believe in anything to do with christianity unless God slapped me in the face with it. (maybe not literally) I was looking for something that would undoubtedly prove to me that there was a god. Every once in a while, I would pray like this, "if you are there, please show me." This went on for quite a while.

I went to a church camp in the Rocky Mountains called NYR and talked to Johnny Scott about a possible internship with him and his band. At this point in my life, I was considering this position for selfish reasons. (but when you don't have a god, why would you consider anyone else but yourself) I thought it would be fun to travel the country with a band for a while. It turned out Johnny didn't have an open position. Life when on like it had been going for a long time.

Johnny came to me again the next season.

Now I really had to think about it. I think I agreed to do this internship for some wrong reasons and some right reasons. I decided to come with a very open mind about God. This was a good thing. I still prayed that simple prayer when I thought about it.

Over the past few weeks, I believe that God chose not to slap me in the face with his existence. I think I would be dead if this were the case. He actually took it to the next level of intensity. It was like he said, "Well yeah I'm real, but let's focus on what you need to do for me." I didn't even have the chance to sit and ponder His existence because he went straight to a calling for me to do great things for Him.

I later realized that just in the past year he has been intentionally placing things in my life to set me up for this journey. Over a year ago, I started dating this beautiful girl that I will be married to at the end of this year. I believe now that he put us together to go on a spiritual journey. He wants us both to learn to love each other like He loves us and He wants us to share that kind of unconditional love with everyone we come in contact with.

This girl is incredible.

This week I called Purdue University and I withdrew. I was planning to go there and study Industrial Design. I even, just now, deleted a draft that I had written for this blog about my intended career. I wrote this particular draft a month ago, and I could see the self-centeredness dripping down the page. (I'm not sure if that's a word) I immediately deleted it. I can see the change that has already taken place, even in one month.

Anyway, I also had to try and get out of an expensive lease that I had signed. I was planning to live in an apartment in Lafayette. I was very afraid that I would have to pay rent for a place that I was not going to live at. Within two hours of calling the landlord and asking to be released from the lease, my apartment was rented out to another tenant. I am free. (good song johnny)

I plan to continue my internship with Foundation Red this fall. In January, me and my soon-to-be wife will move to Joplin, MO. We both plan to enroll at Ozark Christian College. I plan to spend the rest of my life sharing my faith with others through worship leading and whatever else He wants me to do.